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Oct 17, 201203:44 PMCulture

Fun and Culture in the Mid-State

The Ale Trail Diaries

Oct 17, 2012 - 03:44 PM
The Ale Trail Diaries

Photos by Chelsea Hess-Moore & Jadrian Klinger

(page 1 of 2)

When asked to tag along during a day-long journey to numerous breweries in the area, one would think a day full of unforgettable, yet perhaps hazy memories would lie ahead. Tasting the unique beers, stuffing my face with greasy foods along the way and having those moments where I say, “Just one more,” were all on my list of things to do that day.

Fortunately, all my to-do things were done. Unfortunately, they were not done by me. Yes, I was nominated to be the photographer and designated driver for this month’s Adventure Man column. Although I’m not the biggest fan of beer and probably lucked out by not having to indulge in tasting different ones all day, I could have definitely used one or two when my day was through. 

As the chauffeur for Adventure Man’s drinking partner – who also happened to be my boyfriend, Terry – and armed with a camera to capture their inebriated moments, I have the sober story of the good ole ale trail adventure. 

“Pew, that stinks! Ewe, that’s gross!” ~

The day started off as if it was going to be smooth sailing for us. The two drinkers, Adventure Man and Terry; Mrs. Adventure Man otherwise know as Elena, and myself who was to be our designated driver, sat down for some pizza at The Iron Hill Brewery. 

The pizza that we all shared was delicious and went well with the pilsner beer that the guys decided to start off with.

When asked for a taste to get my opinion, I was surprised by my reaction as I tend to like beer. The smell of it made me proclaim, “Pew, that stinks!” and followed by a quick swig, I bellowed with a bitter-beer face. “Ewe, it’s gross!” But to be fair, the guys both enjoyed the citrusy, crisp-tasting beer. I beg to differ. But for the Pilsner, they gave it two thumbs up. 

A dark stout for a weak stomach ~ 

 Never considering they'd have a long drinking day ahead of them, the boys ordered a stout beer at our next destination. We all agreed, the flavors were different, original and pretty tasty. 

Jadrian A.K.A Adventure Man, ordered peanut butter stout beer. Terry, on the other hand, enjoyed his chocolate mint chip stout. Sadly, stout is more filling, and by the time they were half way through their choices, not much drinking was being done at that brewery. 

Walking back to the car, "I'm so full, I can't drink anymore," complained our strong men. As any loyal girlfriends would do, we threw them in the car and traveled to the next brewery.  

As the two of us girls walked the boys back to the car, the complaints of “I’m so full! I can’t drink anymore,” were coming from both of our “strong” men. As any loyal girlfriends would do, we threw them in the car and traveled to the next brewery.  

Still complaining of full stomachs and stout-tasting breath, they both ordered the lightest beers they could find. They drank their Strawberry Wheat beer as if it were water and left feeling refreshed, new and ready for more beer.

Oh joy. 

“I’ll take the Sandy Ass and a kids’ meal, please.” ~

Jadrian really showed his inner child at JoBoy’s Brew Pub. Although Terry wasn’t hungry (which didn’t help later on and I guess you can conclude why), Jadrian ordered a Sandy Ass Ale and a JoBoy’s Little Smokey Sandwich off of the kids’ menu. 

Enjoying his bite-sized pulled pork sandwich and a basket of hushpuppies, he ended the meal with dunking his giant chocolate chip cookie into his delicious Sandy Ass Ale. Instead of gagging in disgust from the gross combination, he said with a smile after the first bite, “That’s actually pretty good.”  So classy. 

After Elena and I finished the amazing, messy nachos that we shared, we decided to head to the next destination. 

What was the coolest part of JoBoy’s besides the nachos and Jadrian dunking his cookie into his beer? The narrow, dark, alleyway-type, only-wide-enough-for-one-person-at-a-time, claustrophobic walkway between JoBoy’s and the building beside it that led to the parking lot in the back.  Creepy, but pretty cool. 

“Are we there yet?” ~

If you take the time to read the Adventure Man article, you will notice that he may not have mentioned anything about the car rides between each destination. Yes, and that’s what I’m here for ~ to tell you all the things that he neglects to share. 

Regardless if we were riding in the car for five minutes or a half an hour, my loved one got in the car and his mouth went faster than the miles I was burning per minute. One minute we would talk about sports, the next we would talk about school, and then we’d be talking about the beers. I couldn’t keep up.  Although Adventure Man was in the car in front of me, it was clear that he was feeling “under the weather” if you would like to say.  With his window down, seat laid back and arm resting on the headrest of the driver’s seat, he was surely in a relaxed mode. 


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